Dear young man on the bus:
OK, see, I'm a thirtysomething white woman from Iowa. And yet, even I know that if you're bouncing around the back of the bus going into great detail about your outstanding warrants, how they ain't gonna get you and how you got shot because "that's what we gangstas do"...you are not, in fact, a gangsta. Especially if you're not talking to anybody in particular.
Even the twelve-year-old boy and his seventeen-year-old brother who got off the bus at my stop thought you were high, drunk and "ridonkulous".
At least you probably inspired them to stay in school, in case they were considering otherwise.
Yours in baffled disdain,